"totally worth it" things about being a mommy.

This one's for Kelly~

Ok...I'm not one to lie...being a mother is NOT a walk in the park. It's TOUGH, it's ROUGH, they TOTALLY PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE once they make their entrance.

But it's all amazing! I really don't even like saying, "It's totally worth it". The saying just seems like at times having a baby may not be worth it...like it's a mistake. THAT'S NEVER TRUE! You can't guage it like that. You never look back and say...we shouldn't have done this. Or...it wasn't worth it to have this kid. You just KNOW that life is so much better with your baby in it. Life without your baby is unthinkable...and if you DO think of it...you want to die.

Being a mommy has made me really realize why I'm here. It made me realize why Justin and I met...to be parents!

The minute I felt Cole move...I was IN LOVE (even before then). I spent 9 months growing this tiny little person...I was taken. The first time I held him was priceless. You can't even begin to explain what makes it so amazing...it just IS! I mean...a part of YOU made this baby...he's your flesh and blood...it's a MIRACLE!

Late at night or early in the morning or anytime when they're brand new...sure...you're tired. But it doesn't matter...you can't help but stare at your new baby. Look how he breathes! Look how he eats his yummies...look how he grabs your finger...how he looks at you when you talk. He knows you already...WOW!

When I went back to work...I cried and cried ALL DAY LONG. I would RUSH back to daycare during lunch to see & feed him & then RUSH back to pick him up from daycare after school. Just like a girl running to see her boyfriend after he's been gone for a while. Each time my heart would RACE! I STILL do this & he's 15mos old!!!

When he started smiling...Ahhh I could've exploded with happiness & tried tickling him all day to make him do it again...and then laugh. I bawled when I moved him to his own room at 6 weeks (mean old grandma tried it out & he liked it :() I bawled when he slept all night (ok...partly because I was engorged)...but because I missed him. I was HEARTBROKEN when he weaned at 9months. That one was tough...HEARTBROKEN really describes it. Breastfeeding is the most wonderful experience. I still miss it & look forward to it again with this new baby (I hope it's as good of a latcher like Cole).

Now he says mama & HUGS!!! I say, "JUMP INTO MY ARMS" & he RUNS & does it & HUGS my neck so hard. I say, "Give me sugars" & he either kisses me with his mouth WIDE open, or leans his head in to be kissed. When he cries, he says, "mamamamama"...I'm who he wants! When he sees me at daycare he giggles & RUNS to me!

I can see him learning all day...whether its by watering the yard, watching daddy work, watching me work, "reading" a book, or looking at pictures or just PLAYING...he's learning! We sit & read about "tatoos" (tractors) all day long & he's so happy. He loves the mud & cuddling with animals & he LOVES DADDY.

All of this and so much more make it so "worth it". But this isn't even the BEGINNING of why. It just is. It's different for everyone. Even when he's mean & fussy...I never regret having him...I regret I can't make him happier at that moment. He makes me want to have TONS of babies.

And all those worries I wrote about in my other blog....those make me a mom...I welcome those worries...they are sweet & once you have a baby you realize you ALWAYS will worry & WANT to worry. It comes with the territory of being a mommy...the best job in the world.