Justin and I had an argument today.
I asked him this morning what days he is off this week...he said Friday and Saturday. My eyes lit up..."Really?"!!!! Then he looked at me funny..., "yeah...the hunting trip". Oh...
I'm so happy he's going hunting...he deserves to go have fun, but what about me? I threw a typical Janet fit. Full of..."I never get ME time", "Must be nice to go do something you want to do"...etc. That's all true, but the REAL reason I was/am upset is because I MISS him! I only get him for 12 weekends a year and I'm very stingy with them. We will not be able to go shopping for Christmas gifts together this year. His remaining days off before Christmas will be during the week and I will be working. On his days off during the week, I don't see him until 5pm (my usual time to leave work). Even if I do find someone to watch Cole...what's there to do in Vernon?
Of course he thinks I'm just mean because I don't want him to have any fun...and that's not true, but he doesn't understand my point of view. When I go out of town for a weekend, I think he looks forward to it so he can be alone. Who knows when I'll get a weekend away by myself.
MOVING ON....I don't want to get angry again!!! hehe
At church today, the message was "Stay AWAKE!" because you don't know the day the Lord will come. I want to be ready...and holding on to petty arguments is something that I definitely need to get away from. I went into church and prayed...and told God, "I'm angry...please just ignore that". It's amazing how by the end of mass I had forgiven Justin and began trying to find the real reason I was upset.
I want to be ready...I felt that in church today I couldn't officially say I AM READY. There've been many times I have been...but not today. Wow...what a big responsibility parents have to make sure their babies are ready too!
Another thing I realized today is that I've been waiting on Justin to be home to go to church. Really...he only gets 12 weekends off a year....so am I only going to go to church 12 times a year? Before Cole I went every Sunday or Saturday. I should be ESPECIALLY doing this WITH him! It's hard by myself...but I WILL do it! It's neat knowing that he's Catholic along with me! He loves church and all the people there.
As we walked in, we were welcomed by all of our parish friends..and I regretted not being there more often...they didn't care though...they were so happy to see us. We WILL be there more!
2 comments:
**Big Hug**
That is cute that you told God to just ignore your mood. ; )
You deserve you time. You deserve time with just you and Justin. Don't let guilt or anything talk you out of it. Set a date and stick to it. You'll have fun and benefit from it. How come you won't listen to me on this one??
That is cute that you miss Justin. I can see Robbie for a whole weekend and still be "why do I never get to see you?". No wonder why we mystify guys. ; )
I know things can look pretty bleak at times, but remember that we love you! AND Justin and Cole love you! You will get through this... one day at a time. Come to Dallas, we will have Casey babysit Cole and Lexi and you and I can have a mommy day! :)
Post a Comment